Notes on social idealisms

Notes on social idealisms..

Posted by Matutay on Oct 20, '08

While I have a lot of nothingness to do, I might just defile a blank page with these thoughts in my head. Inside it, I swear, my imaginations knows no boundaries. It's an endless universe where my freedom is absolute. Of course it's not the 'freedom' political crap that everybody has been talking about. It is only in our mind that we are indeed, FREE.

See, I don't even know why I'm using a foreign language here. Do I really have to use my native language (which seems more stranger to me when I write)[thanks to westernized education..err]) just to proclaim myself as a goddamn patriot? I hope not, because I'm not. I guess I'd write to which language I know as long as I am comfortable. Maybe I was just theorizing all along. Patriotism is one hell of a fad. I think it's achievable though, but I guess one will have to build himself a new definition. Well, maybe I'll have to make some definitions on my own before I can confirm myself into one. The fever of words could really penetrate our skin. It could burn us deeper to what we could ever show enough. So I guess, I'll have to peruse my own scripts to rebut myself once in a while. The deeper I get, the more I discover. The more I discover is how I learn. Independence, freedom----two of the equatable ideals we have been striving for. Do you sometimes wonder why throughout the years we get no hold of those? It's because we are reaching for nothing [at least on my opinion]. Take note: One could not claim nothing. 'Freedom' [the one that idealists always talks about] is not actually free. It comes with trainloads of responsibilities. What you buy out of that 'freedom' [I'd rather say it's choice] will be paid by one and only YOU. No currencies of course, just consequences.

'Independence' (on the whore sense of what teenagers want to be) NOTE: I'm separating this 'independence' politically. If I am free from all the people in the world, if I can stand on my feet alone, if I don't need anybody to hold on to, would that make INDEPENDENT? No, because that's never gonna happen and that's precisely why it would stay as an 'if' for a lifetime. It's simple. You can live alone and pay all the bills, but where do you get the payment? Where do you rely on for those? And you don't really need anybody? Then who's the one paying you? Don't you need them? Aren't you a slave of your own desires just like the rest of us? You can never deny that. Desire is desire. It never ceases because the moment it does, it ceases to be a desire. Another answer why 'independence' on the whore sense of teenage definition is just a fantasy is because NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. Yeah it's cliche. It's cliche because it is true.

As a person, I think that I am a body of ocean and that the island is my life. I go around living it. Living that it does exist. But there is always a turbulence that my atmosphere creates. That turbulence is fueled by desires that is carried by my current. Therefore I say, to desire those ideals that I have stated above is not wrong though fairly debatable (everything seems debatable anyway). I repeat, it is not wrong. It is just up to us to make sure that we don't drown ourselves on our own pool of ideals that we are making. I always keep in mind that there is still a sun whose heat has the capacity to suck up an entire ocean or either give a new life after the sky precipitates.